When I talked about heading to Guatemala for a getaway, everyone asked, “Why Guatemala?”
To which I answered, “Why not Guatemala?”
I social media stalked Guatemala for months- it looked like the perfect destination to escape to with the BF while my son was away with his dad. A 5 hour flight from L.A., brimming with natural beauty, culturally interesting, and a combo of off-the-beaten-path-enough-to-be-adventurous, yet tourist-friendly enough to feel relaxing, Guatemala looked dreamy. I was sold.
On a yoga retreat in Mexico, I mentioned in passing to my teacher that I liked the sweatshirt she was wearing. It was soft and grey, with short sleeves (totally my style!) and I asked her where she got it. “You know what,” she replied, “You should just have it Diane, here take it.” Peeling it off her lithe frame, she offered it to me. Read more →
I’m wearing a plain t-shirt and baggy shorts, Korean spa-style waiting for my treatment with Dr. Hata. Tikkun Holistic Spa is a serene oasis, offering not only lovely massages, facials and scrubs, but holistic treatments operating on a different level, energetically. I’m into this stuff. On my spiritual path, I went from being a skeptic, to finding energy work to be a very enriching, healing experience. I had visited Tikkun earlier to shoot video with Rachel from Club Momme and Jamie from I’m Not The Babysitter, (coming soon!) but didn’t get a treatment myself. Tikkun owner, Niki, told me I absolutely had to try Dr. Hata. Very little was described to me, other than that I would love it.
I’ve had an explicit all-honesty-all-the-time policy at my house.
The Tooth Fairy rewarded my son’s honesty with full price for his sub par tooth, (can you believe it’s $5 these days?) Yup, Mom engineered that one, smugly creating a “teachable” moment where full disclosure is rewarded…albeit by a mythical tooth-stealing fairy.
My nickname is Hair Trigger. We all have them, triggers that can take us from zero to sixty in no time flat. Mine is dishonesty. Lie to me and there is no faster way to board a bullet train to Crazytown.
Acute vigilance manifested these past few months, as I maneuvered through a custody modification, 5 years after divorce. I’m not at liberty to share details, but…
I love the Moth Radio Hour. If I catch it in the car I’ll stay parked wherever I am because the stories are so compelling. I caught their live show this spring in Hollywood, and I so appreciate the simplicity and courage of a person taking the stage with nothing more than a mic and a story to tell.
Tonight I heard one that brought me to tears. Especially because for me, it reinforces that everything happens for a reason, and when you feel at your lowest, a greater plan could be in place beyond your wildest dreams.
I am a reformed skeptic, just starting to believe that something larger than myself could be at work in my life and Darryl DMC McDaniels’ story about how his obsession with a Sarah McLachlan song changed the course of his life is just, well…divine. Give a listen and enjoy.
Edge Performing Arts Center opened its doors yesterday to a ground floor, light-filled, brand-spanking-new studio. (4 studios, to be precise) Excited to take my first class in the new space, walking through those doors felt more like a homecoming, than a grand opening. Familiar faces were everywhere- generations of professional dancers, from ones I looked up to on my first big job, to the crew I took 15 classes a week with when we were Edge scholarships, to the ones I’ve shared early morning call times and folding chairs with on set, to the newest of the newbie kiddos who’ve just moved to town. I love this community.
As the days of summer slip away, I’ve got one last week with a very active 7 year old and no camp, no nanny, no help. Mano a mano. To limit screen time, and avoid constant wrestling and pillow fighting, I have tried, pleaded, begged, even bribed my way into teaching K the value of good old-fashioned chores. Listen kid, summer ain’t just about lounging in front of the tv, eating hot dogs and french fries all hours of the day, or gallivanting around Legoland twice in one week, yes, I said TWICE in one week- all of which we have done this summer. (I may have overachieved on the concept of “staycation”.) This last snippet of summer is about learning how to iron, cook, vacuum, do anything that might help your single mama out around the house. i.e. help her keep her sanity.
Today’s chore was to re-pot some of the succulents around the yard, and to my surprise, K loved this activity. The words, “This is fun, Mom!” actually escaped his sugar-encrusted mouth. IKEA pots, my home grown worm compost, a bag of aquarium gravel and succulent cuttings from our existing plants, were all it took to let our imaginations play. After a very rough summer in the co-parenting department, this simple connection with my son and some little plants lifted my spirits exponentially.
A couple pots next to the door add welcoming cheer to my porch.
Not only do reader questions satisfy my normally unsolicited and potentially annoying, advice-giving compulsion, they mean that I actually have readers. Win win!
John messaged me, sharing difficulty in a new relationship:
I was reading your pre-Peru blog post and for you to open up about the pain your divorce caused, touched me.
I never had a girlfriend until I was 29. We clicked instantly and I felt connected to her. But she did not love me. I found out she was cheating on me and I cut off contact with her. But that pain has not subsided. It still hurts and has left me with an inability to trust. I went to therapy for a few years, but I eventually reached the end of what it could do for me. I kept putting myself into no-win situations with people who are not available.
I am now in a relationship I am too scared to label. I am happy, but I keep waiting for her to dump me. Even though she has given me no reason to expect that. How do I free myself from the chains of the past?
Now, John, let’s just be clear: I’m no love expert. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I care about my reader(s!) and am happy to share some nuggets that have helped me on my personal journey toward healing a frozen heart.
Disclaimer: I have been watching Frozen with my son waaaaaaayyyyyy too much of late, but in this case, I think the message applies. (If only it were as easy as a visit to the trolls!)
First, I commend your courage to share your experience and ask for help. Your new, er, “lady friend”, is a lucky woman to have a man willing to work on his past baggage. Bravery, awareness and willingness are essential to freeing yourself from your past.
This is me. Hi. Nice to meet you. Most of my life I’ve been a seeker. Someone who’s willing take a look at my personal baggage, get help and work on it. Work, being the operative word. I’m methodical, disciplined, result-oriented. (A total Virgo, right?) I have always believed you could change your life if you just worked hard enough and willed it to be.
Four years ago my divorce rocked me to my core and set my course in a new direction. I had worked so hard at my marriage, yet ultimately, it failed. I became a single working mother, in uncharted territory. I was ready to roll up my sleeves and do my work to create and fight for happiness in all facets of my life: work, family, love, myself.
Traditional therapy had been my avenue of choice, and it served me well. Until last year. I had hit a wall. I was repeatedly picking love relationships with unavailable men. (I’m sure I’m the only woman guilty of this, right?) and I had had enough.