Edge Performing Arts Center opened its doors yesterday to a ground floor, light-filled, brand-spanking-new studio. (4 studios, to be precise) Excited to take my first class in the new space, walking through those doors felt more like a homecoming, than a grand opening. Familiar faces were everywhere- generations of professional dancers, from ones I looked up to on my first big job, to the crew I took 15 classes a week with when we were Edge scholarships, to the ones I’ve shared early morning call times and folding chairs with on set, to the newest of the newbie kiddos who’ve just moved to town. I love this community.
Scott Hislop, Regan Patno, Bill Prudich and Colleen Craig. All legends in their own right.
My bitchin’ teacher who rocks the hardest, Helene Phillips and the lovely SYTYCD choreographer, Mandy Moore.
It sounded like such a good idea at the time. My BFF had lost her father last year and we had planned to go on a yoga retreat to Mexico this spring when she finally had a little time for herself. Well, spring had sprung and our flight was just around the corner. That’s when the panic struck.
All the reasons why I shouldn’t go swirled in my head. What if something happened to my son? I haven’t worked enough this year to earn a vacation. This is way too indulgent. I like my life. I don’t feel tired. I don’t need an escape. What if I miss out on that one job that catapults my income for the entire year? On and on and on.
I tried to sit with the discomfort. Honor your commitment. Honor yourself. Try something new. Relax. It will all be fine. Maybe better than fine. And don’t forget….it’s already been paid for.
The BFF called me the day before we left. “How are you feeling about this trip?” she tentatively asked. I admitted to secretly hoping I would get a job which would give me total permission to come halfway through the retreat. She felt the same. We agreed that it felt like too long to be away from our kids. The mom guilt had got us. And bad.
We cut our trip short by two nights. A couple hundred dollars in change fees (ouch!) later, we left for Mexico.